Cry Baby

Babies cry, it's a fact of life. They can't yet use words to communicate so when something's not right they cry. I've heard plenty of babies cry, but when it's your own baby, it's the most distressing sound you'll ever hear. For the past 10 weeks we've been learning to decipher what Anna is trying to tell us with her array of different cries.

The 'I'm hungry' cry:
This usually happens after she wakes up from her sleep. Most of the time it's her empty tummy which wakes her up so she pretty much expects to be fed as soon as she wakes up. In fact, you can never feed her quick enough and her cry sounds like she's been starving for days. She wants her milk NOW, not in 5 minutes, not in 30 seconds, NOOOWWWWWWW!!! WAAAHHHHHHHHHH.... And as she gets closer to my boobs, she instinctively turns her head, looks for the nipple and opens her mouth wide, and pants like a thirsty little puppy until she gets her milk. It's a very cute sight :)

The 'I'm being a fussy eater' cry:
This happens when the milk flow slows after the initial few minutes and Anna is getting lazy with her sucking. It's not really a cry but more like a little girly scream. If she's particularly annoyed it'd turn into more of a coughing cry (usually accompanied by a few sharts). This is easily settled with a few distractions, including taking her to the mirror in the bathroom which is a particular favourite of hers right now.

The 'Why did you wake me up early?' cry:
From time to time we have to move her from one mode of transport to another, e.g. from the car capsule into the pram. And without fail, no matter how careful we are, she wakes up from the unbuckling and buckling of her seat belt. This cry is pretty loud and she usually pulls a sad face to let you know that waking her up early is just wrong. Most of the time we can settle her by going for a walk (if she's in the pram), letting her suck on my pinky (if she's in the car capsule), breastfeeding her (if nothing else works).

The 'How could you let the doctor hurt me?' cry:
This has been one of the hardest cries for me to witness. As she went for her first round of immunisation at 8 weeks, it was up to me to hold her still while the doctor gives her, not one, but two needles. I had her in the Baby Bjorn carrier and as the needles went in, she looked up at me, gave me a look which said 'why are you letting this happen to me?' and let out an almighty wail. Needless to say, I was feeling guilty for days!

The 'Ouch, I've just head-butted myself onto your collar bone' cry:
There's a second of silence, followed by those lips curling downwards as she registers the pain and then.....WAAAAHHHHHHHH....this one is always accompanied with huge tears and extra sad face. Luckily it's not a cry that usually lasts.

The 'I'm thirsty' cry:
Refer to 'I'm hungry' cry, because it's the same.

The 'I'm tired but can't fall asleep' cry:
Anna is a really good night sleeper, when all the lights are out and everything's quiet she can usually fall asleep right after each night feed. But during the day and the early evenings, it's another story. After about an hour of feeding and play time, she usually gets tired. Her movements become jerky, she loses eye contact with you and there's always a few yawns. So we usually know when she's ready for bed. By now we've worked out a pretty good routine to prepare her for bed – making sure nappy is changed and she's burped, we take her into the bedroom, blinds drawn for a bit of quiet time. After a few minutes, it's time to put her down into her bassinet. If we're lucky, she's happy to look around for a bit and she can put herself to sleep if we leave her to it. But most of the time, she looks at you like you're about to put her up for adoption and even before her head hits the bed she starts to cry. This usually starts off quite soft, not really crying but just a bit of grizzling to complain about being tired. Again, if we're lucky, she'll fall asleep with a bit of rubbing of her chest and a little sucking of the dummy. When she's having an unsettled day, the crying will get louder and louder and she'd start to roll her head left and right while kicking her legs back and forth. The intensity gets stronger and stronger until she actually keeps herself awake with all the noise and movement and then all hell breaks lose....WWWWAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH, big tears, extra sad face and thirsty cry all roll into one. And then it's time to pick her up and start the sleeping routine all over again.

After all this talk of crying, please enjoy a nice smiley photo of Anna, taken when I took her to Coogee Beach the other day. She had a lot of fun watching me blow raspberries.

Going out 1.1

We've just discovered a new adventure – going out with a baby. No longer can we just hop into the car to grab a gelato at Coogee Beach at the drop of a hat, the same trip now requires:1.  Coming up with the idea hours in advance.
2.  Realising the weather will be too cold for Anna so changing the plan for the next suitable day
3.  Breastfeeding her whilst eating our dinner so that we'd finish at the same time and be ready to head out
4.  Coaxing her to sleep in the car without success so we drive around for an extra ½ hour until she finally nods off
5.  Carefully move the baby capsule out of the car so that she doesn't wake up
6.  Enjoy ice-cream until the lack of movement wakes her up, time to go home again

And this is on top of the many baby things that we need to pack with us into the car: nappy bag with nappies, wipes, change mat, nappy rash cream, a few change of clothes; pram; baby sling; swaddle wraps; and why not throw in the Baby Bjorn carrier for safe measures.

One of the new destinations when we're out is the Parents' Room. I've always wondered what I'd find in these rooms and I'm happy to report that these are always very well thought out. There's always an extra large toilet so that you can push your pram inside, some even have a small kids toilet so you can do your business with your toddler side by side. There are also breastfeeding cubicles with comfy sofas and a little curtain for extra privacy. Change tables are always plentiful and clean, and most rooms also have microwaves and bottle warmers just to cover all feeding requirements. There's even a particular Parents' Room at Bondi Junction Westfields (for those of you who want to check it out, it's the one on the level 5 food court) which has a view of the harbour! You can't ask for more.

One of my favourite ways to pass time while feeding in the cubicles is to listen to all the conversations around me. So far I've heard parents exchanging reviews on the latest kids movie (apparently 'Up' was a little too deep for a 2 year old, and 'Cloudy with a chance of meatballs' is very entertaining and offers many life lessons for the little ones); a dad asking his wife for the 10th wipe while changing a particularly pooey nappy; a little voice asking to see 'SAAANNNNNTAAAAAA' after her nappy change; a dad arranging where to meet his wife after the feed (I thought David was the only who went to Borders to read magazines to kill time).

To wrap up, I'd like to share one of the nicest things I've read this week: 50 reasons why it's fun to be a parent. And here's a photo of our smiling Anna. Enjoy!

She's here!!!

Finally I've found some time and motivation to give this blog an update.

Wow, what a month it's been! First the birth and now we have a crying, pooping, breast-milk guzzling little girl – Anna!

After all the classes and reading, you'd think we were over prepared for the birth. But of couse, things didn't happen the way we'd imagined. First of all, Anna was 8 days late. And let me tell you, those were 8 long days – after 40 weeks of waiting, I was ready to get her out! We were trying everything – spicy food, raspberry leaf tablets and were enquiring into acupuncture. On the eve of the big day, we invited friends over for a pizza night to kill some extra time. Before they left, my friend April decided to do a little birth dance as a joke in front of my belly and 6 hours later my water broke!

We'd prepared for early labour to last quite a few hours so when I told David that my water had broken at 4.30 am, his response was: “Great! But can I go back to bed now?” But my contractions came on straight away and were strong, lengthy and regular. I knew things were progressing too fast but I needed to convince David and the midwife (of course, our midwife Alex was on leave, so we had her colleague Kate instead). We stayed at home for about 5 hours, using the TENS machine and hot shower for pain relief. Finally, I was begging to be taken to hospital as I knew that I didn't leave home soon, I wasn't going to be able to move.

At 9.45am, we met Kate at the birthing centre. She had drawn a massive hot bath so that's where I stayed for the next 3 hours. By 12pm, I was fully dilated and was told to start pushing. After 2 hours of pushing (along with cave-woman howling, and squeezing the crap out of Dave's hands) Anna was still stuck so they had to intervene before she became too distressed. I was wheelchaired to the delivery suite and a doctor came in to help. By 3pm on the dot, Anna was born with the help of a vacuum.

I'll never forget the way she felt in my arms – warm, sticky, slightly shivering, crying helplessly. She's my little girl! Our beautiful little girl! Since so many people had told us we were having a boy, I asked to check again to make sure it was a girl. We were also pleasantly surprised by her beautiful blue eyes. We've always said: wouldn't it be nice if she had dark hair and blue eyes and sure enough that's how she turned out! Fingers crossed that they'll remain blue. Most people say that she looks like David, but I think she looks like me when she's asleep and she also has my fingers and toes :)

So the roller-coaster begins. The first 2 nights were spent in hospital. It was so strange to be away from David after the most important event in our lives, especially since we haven't spent a night apart for about 6 years. The midwives in the hospital were fantastic! Always patient when I had to ring that bell to ask for help. In those 2 days I learned to breastfeed, comfort and settle, burp, and bathe Anna. David was very hands-on, staying with us during all available minutes of the visiting hours, eager to change her nappy and whatever else he could help with. And on the third day it was home coming time!

My parents had stayed over after the birth to cook and clean our place, which was great help. So with the fridge stocked to the bream and all our bits of junk tucked away, we sent them back home with the aim to learn to take care of little Anna on our own.

The first 2 weeks were quite challenging – especially on the second night when she cried for 6 hours straight and nothing would soothe her. We'd take turns, each settling her for 2-3 hours and slept wherever and whenever we could. There were lots of watching late night tv and having her sleep in our arms – David even stayed up one whole night holding her hands so that she'd sleep through the night. I think we were so focused on getting her to sleep that she wasn't getting enough food and didn't put on weight fast enough. It didn't help that she was slightly jaundiced which made her even more lethargic.

Midwives Alex and Kate took turns visiting us, every couple of days, as a part of the postnatal care. They were great help – always giving tips and reassuring that we were on the right track. Alex also put us onto a 3-hourly feeding routine which eventually helped her with weight gain and also better night sleeps – in fact, she's been a great night-sleeper ever since, able to fall back asleep by herself after each night feed which means I'm the only one getting up to feed her and David is getting a good 8 hours of sleep a night.

As we gain more confidence, we started to take Anna out for short walks, and eventually taking her to the beach and other outings with the car. She'd always find it fascinating to be outside, often looking around with a curious look on her face. And riding in the pram/car/sling would always put her to sleep – this girl loves movement! In fact, we found that walking her in the sling is often the only way to put her to sleep during the day but we'd always struggle to fish her out to put her in bed after she's fallen asleep – there's gotta be a better way!

After 4 weeks of leave, it was time for David to go back to work. I was a bit worried at first – he's been my rock during all the difficult moments, would I be able to cope on my own? So the day before he returned to work, we took the bus to the city with the pram which I handled mostly on my own as practice. We found that bus drivers and other passengers were always happy to help with us getting on and off, and as long as we were near shopping centres, there'd always be a convenience parents' room for me to breastfeed or change her nappy.

So on that Wednesday, with Anna aged 4 weeks and 3 days, I took her to the weekly local mothers' group meeting on my own. It wasn't the best of days to be out – raining and windy, which meant I'd have to push the pram with one hand and hold the umbrella with the other – but I was determined to do it. Well, she was happy enough with the bus ride but started to cry as soon as we got off. But what I've learned over the last few weeks is that: if all else fails, give her the boob. And sure enough, she was happy to feed each and every time. The mothers' group was designed for babies 0-8 weeks old, after which you are 'graduated' to form your own social group. We'd go around in a circle, introducing ourselves and our babies and talk about what we've been through. On hand are 2 experienced midwives, answering any questions and giving tips along the way. The meeting is held at the local Early Childhood Health Centre, which is also a place for regular check-ups and weighings.

This first outing gave me a great boost of confidence and I've been out a few more times with Anna since. Earlier this week I also attended a Sleep and Settling class at the Karitane Centre (a postnatal centre offering free parenting classes and a 24-hour helpline) and we've been practicing some new techniques so that Anna learns to fall asleep in her bassinet – so far it's been going very well.

Anna's first-month birthday marked one of her first major milestones – in Chinese culture a 'full-month' party is held to celebrate the completion of this most challenging of times for both baby and parents. Anna met most of my relatives, including great grandma, and received lots of red pockets with money – so much in fact that we're planning to start her own savings account!

And on exactly 1 month and 1 day of age, Anna smiled for the first time! She had always smiled as she fell asleep but they were more like a reflex for her to practice using her facial muscles. But this time, she smiled at us! It was just the sweetest sight but of course when we tried to get a video of it, she just wouldn't do it again. She's been smiling (and even laughing for the first time yesterday) ever since, she's just the happiest little girl – especially after she's fed and changed.

So this brings everyone up to date for the past month. We'd like to thank everyone for your gifts, cards, and well wishes – she's the most loved baby on earth! Our Anna is thriving and she's changing all the time. We're proud of everything that she does – including poo explosions! We hope to be able to keep up with this blog to give you more updates and also to keep a record for us.

Diary of a housewife

Wow, only 10 days left! How fast has time passed. It felt like only yesterday when we found out I was pregnant and now baby is itching to get out.

I remember seeing that fateful stripe come up on the pregnancy test and it felt kinda surreal. I don't think it had hit either of us at that stage what it really meant – that in less than 40 weeks we were going to have another person in our lives, one who was created by us no less.

Ok, enough sentimental talk for today! So what have I been doing? As most of you know, I finished work last week. My lovely work friends, Corina and Suzanne, were so kind to organise a surprise party for my last day. I've had some inkling that they were planning something, maybe a nice lunch. But when Friday lunchtime came and went and nothing special happened, I didn't think about it again. By about 1.30pm, my manager, Michael, very seriously took me aside and said that he needed to discuss my future with the company. As he hadn't had lunch, he took me to a Korean restaurant across the street so we could talk while he ate. And that was the slowest I've seen anyone eat a bibimbap (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bibimbap)! So after an hour of serious discussions, Michael got a sms from the managing director to return work at once. Naturally, I thought he was in trouble for something until I walked into an empty office only to be greeted by everyone I've worked with for the past 2 years in the kitchen screaming 'SURPRISE'! And what a surprise it was – table full of food and the whole kitchen (and my desk) decked out in pink and blue balloons and ribbons. It was so great to feel so loved at your work place and when it was my turn to thank everyone I had to keep it very short to stop from bursting into tears (I blame my hormones, I'm usually a great public speaker!). So to everyone from work who might be reading this, I thank you for your friendship and I look forward to returning to work in 12 months' time! Feel free to raid my stationary :)

I think this is the first time since I turned 16 that I haven't been in active employment of some form so it takes some getting use to. I have been getting up at the same time as Dave – not because I don't enjoy a sleep-in, but after a whole night of sleeping on my side, I'm usually sore and wanting to get some circulation happening. I then start the day with breakfast and a bit of light reading (thanks to my buddy April, I'm getting into Pride and Prejudice and Zombies – yes, zombies, it's the original Jane Austen text with added zombie scenes, very interesting indeed!). I then get straight into more murdering mayhem with an episode or two of Dexter (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dexter_%28TV_series%29). I seriously hope that all this reading and viewing of bloodiness doesn't affect the psyche of my unborn child! After lunch and a couple of emails to-and-fro with Dave (awwww...yes, we live together but we email/phone each other everyday, how lovely :) it's usually nap time. I don't know if it's the body getting lethargic from digesting food or it's baby or I need no excuse for a nap, but around 1.30 – 2pm each day I just can't keep my eyes opened. After, at times disturbingly long, 2-hour nap I'm up and ready to start planning dinner. While all this must sound very lazy and involves very little body movement, I do try to get off my butt as much as possible with my many trips to the bathroom, answering telemarketing calls from India and a light walk around the block. Last night I even pumped up the music so I can shake my hips a bit while cooking, until Dave came home and joined me in the silliness – it must be amusing for our neighbours to see a heavily pregnant woman and a fully grown man do all those silly moves – if you ever get the chance, ask Dave to show you his signature move: the Siren :)

As this might be the last entry before baby's arrival, I hope you've enjoyed travelling down this new road with us and we hope to have great news for you all VERY SOON!!!

Love,

Vivian + Baby

I’m ready mummy!

At last week’s antenatal appointment we finally got the confirmation that baby is facing the right way for birth. And it took 3 different midwives, no less, to figure this out! It was a bit of a concern when the first midwife told us that baby could be breech (see explanation of breech birth here). She then brought in her colleague who couldn’t tell for sure and they were going to give me a scan. Just as we were getting excited to see our baby again, we were told that the scanner is broken and this more experienced midwife was going to have a feel. So after being prodded and poked by 3 people and feeling like the latest medical experiment, we were finally told that “yes, definitely head down”. Phew!

Another exciting purchase this week was our custom made Crumpler baby nappy bag (see picture). We’ve been big fans of the Crumpler bags for ages and we already have a couple of them. So when we couldn’t find a decent nappy bag we thought a custom made Crumpler would be the perfect way to go. We selected a laptop bag from the range (they don’t exactly specialise in baby products) as it has all the compartments suitable for nappies, wipes, bottles etc. For the design, we turned to our good friend Laura, who is a great graphic designer. She had already designed our baby shower invite so we simply tweaked it for the nappy bag. The design of the cow is inspired by our baby’s birth year – the year of the Ox. We took the design into the store and spoke with their designer, Chabi, who was great help. It only took her 2 days to complete sewing. When we arrived to pick it up we were the envy of everyone there, as our bag had been on display on the front window. So the first piece of art for our baby, he/she is already so spoilt!

During the week I watched a show about parenting and was given an interesting piece of advice that I’d like to share with you all. It’s not a good idea to praise your child by saying ‘you’re very clever’ when they achieve good marks at school or show you one of their drawings. That actually teaches them that ‘cleverness’ instead of ‘hard work’ is your measure of success. Instead, you should say ‘you must’ve worked very hard’ or ‘I like your use of colours’ which shows that the process leading to the achievement is what you value. As the realisation of becoming a parent dawns, there are always concerns about your abilities – what’s the right thing to do/say, how will your choices influence your children, what is the best way to bring up your child? Whilst I don’t believe there is one set of ‘rules’ that you should follow or that there is such a thing as being the ‘perfect’ parent, I hope that we’re equipped with enough life experience and dare I say, wisdom, to be at least ‘ok’ parents.

So we’re now down to the last 4 weeks – 2 more weeks of work, and hopefully 2 weeks at home. I’m less than 4kg lighter than David (yes, all those sweet treats are turning into bits of me) but feeling good in general. I’m starting to have more and more strangers (guy at the convenience store, mailroom guy, people in the lift) ask me questions like ‘how much longer now’ or ‘boy or girl’. Sometimes I’m tempted to reply with ‘what do you mean?’ or ‘I’m just a bit bloated today’ just to see how they’d react, but I’d feel bad to deny our baby’s existence. So I just smile and nod and answer the same question for the 10th time that day. I guess that during late pregnancy is the only time strangers are allowed to openly ask you questions about what's under your clothes.

It's now the final count down - 24 days to go!

Baby van der Meer, meet your namesake

I admit, I'm on facebook. Vivian made me do it. No, actually, Vivian did it for me. I sat on the couch while she set it all up, added photos, a few friends, etc. I told her what password I wanted, that's about it. The rest is history; as these things go, it went viral, and now one year later, I already have 12 friends on my list.

I think someone once worked out that it's officially the worlds biggest time waster, costing employers around the world billions in wasted productivity. It's bloggerhea. Basically, you fart, and you go on Facebook, and say: 'I just farted'. And then friends can leave comments like: 'eewwwww!!!', 'me too', 'hahahaha', or 'I sharted and now I need a change of underwear'. And if you're passionate about the subject, you can start your own 'I farted' group, and then try to get as many people possible to join.

Since signing up I received several messages from people looking for a particular David van der Meer, asking me whether I was the one they once knew. I had to disappoint all of them. It does make you wonder about the other David van der Meer's out there though. One of them apparently speaks Spanish. But that's just an educated guess because the message went something like: ¡Ola! Commo estas bientador el gustas David van der Meer? Si no, haba da habla. Gracias.

Another one is a travel agent somewhere in Australia. I found that out after he sent a friend request. Then he invited me to join the David van der Meer's group that he started. I didn't have the heart to tell a namesake that I think he's a bit of a tool for doing such a thing, and instead joined his group. He had three already, me and himself included. The third one probably spoke Spanish, but I never checked, and now I can't, because both he and the group he started vanished from my facebook page, without leaving a trace. He must have realised himself the severity of what he's done, and he's now hiding in shame.

I can't really blame my parents for giving me the same name as him, especially since he's a couple years younger than me, and will just have to live with it. But a bit of research on my behalf can save my future offspring years of considerable embarrassment.

This week I looked up other people with the same names as the ones we've decided giving our kids, and I'm pleased to say that nothing untoward came up, so both names are still 'go'.
I only found two Xxxx van der Meer's, one that lived 400 years ago, the other once did a bungee jump somewhere in Africa, based on his Facebook profile picture.
I found three Yyyy van der Meer's. Two are on Facebook; one that likes to be seen clutching a Starbucks mug, and another that just doesn't like to be recognised at all so instead putting up a blurry and somewhat suggestive image of what I assume is her dancing with another guy. The last one authored an incredibly boring sounding book on law that presumably married some Polish bloke while deciding to keep both surnames resulting in a really bizarre name.

In the mean time, I have come up with another nickname for baby. During our last visit to the midwife she had some trouble figuring out whether baby was in the right position. Basically, both ends of the baby felt like a bum. I've been calling it Baby Bumface since, although Vivian doesn't seem to like it as much. In fact, she doesn't like it at all.

This morning I heard baby's heartbeat for the first time, by pressing my ear to Vivian's belly. It was fantastic. What was even better, when I started talking to it I could hear the heartbeat go up, and baby started moving around quite a bit. I'd like to think that baby was excited to hear me, as most baby books would like you to believe, but for all I know it was baby getting very annoyed being woken up by some giant sending it into sensory overload, and was trying to communicate: 'Shut up, I'm trying to sleep!'.

For now, I will leave you with the faces of two of our baby's namesakes.

33 weeks, 5 days and counting...

We've been slack again with updating this blog but with good reason: we've had some busy weekends the past few weeks and I was also sick for a week. Don't worry, I didn't catch swine flu so all is good. Just a cold/virus giving me lots of mucus which makes me snore at night so David has been sleeping with ear plugs!

So what has kept us busy the last few weeks? 2 weekends ago we attended my colleague Suzanne's wedding. It was a great day with all the bells and whistles of a typical Lebanese wedding. It has been a long time since either of us have been to a wedding so it was a great experience for us. It was also a really long day and I suspect that my cold/virus was caught somewhere along the festivities.

Last week we finally got around to putting the baby cot together. It now sits proudly at the end of our bed (see photo) and we can already imagine how we can keep an eye on baby from the comfort of our bed. I also took advantage of the warm and sunny weather (21 degrees in the middle of winter, crazy!) to wash all of baby's clothes, sheets and towels. So now we're pretty set to go.

Yesterday we had another appointment with midwife Alex. Everything's going well with baby (my tummy is measuring just right) but she did have a hard time trying to figure out baby's exact position. For 5 minutes she poked and kneaded my tummy with the utmost force to the point that I almost begged her to stop. She thought baby may have been hugging its face with its hands so it was hard for her to feel the head. She assured us that baby still has enough time and room to move into the right position (upside down) for the birth and for the last 2 appointments it has been in this position so there's no need to worry. But she did mention that baby felt a little 'posterior'. This means baby's spine is lying on my spine which could make it very painful on my back during delivery. So far I haven't had much back pain so fingers crossed that baby will be facing the right way when it comes to the big day.

Today I attended a breast feeding class. Although most of the information was already covered in our classes with Taryn, it was good to get another perspective. Overall I feel quite confident that I have all the information I need to give it a good start, the rest I'll have to learn with our baby as every child is different. There are also refresher classes available after baby is born and a 24 hour free call line, so I feel very well supported.

On Saturday we'll be doing an all day first aid class designed for babies and children. It'll probably be the last bit of official learning we do before baby arrives, and definitely one of the most important classes.

So we're now at 33 weeks – I feel well in general, have put on a massive 15kg+ but everyone assures me that I don't look it. I do feel less and less mobile and there are more aches and pains everywhere. I don't have any noticeable swelling but somedays I can't help but feel a little 'whale-like'. Baby is as active as ever. And as there's now less room we can sometimes feel little bumps from its hands and feet. It should weigh around 2kg by now (so where's that other 13kg?!). We have started to call it by the 2 names we've chosen, alternating between boy and girl. Although David would still like to Google them first to make sure they're not names of convicted criminals or other nasty characters!

Hope you're still enjoying reading our little thoughts and updates. We hope to continue writing for as long as possible :)

Until next time...

Love,

Viv

The perfect baby shower

Continuing on Dave’s post last week, he felt he should add a few downsides as well re: baby vs. pet.

• If they get ill and rack up a medical bill of more than $1000, you can’t elect to have it put down.

• When you go on holidays, you can’t tie it to a tree, because police will most probably make an effort to track you down.

• You can’t blame the breeder if it turns out ugly.

Awwwwww……there’s nothing like a father’s love!

Over the weekend we held our baby shower at my parents’ house. It was a fun filled day and we had a great time with close family, friends and work mates. The weather was just superb so we sat outside in the sun for most of the day. We decorated the house with baby photos of Dave and I, and anyone else who brought their baby photo to share. And we shared funny stories from our childhood as well as tales of unfortunate baby names (yes, Julia, I'm talking about how you avoided being named 'Igor'!).

One of the highlights would have to be the silly games, including 'Guess What's in the Nappy'. Basically it consists of spreading suspect diarrhea looking food items onto nappies and asking everything to sniff/taste to guess what it is. Other games include: speed drinking out of baby bottles, guess the ingredients of baby foods, guess how big my tummy is. Prizes, such as a Kinder Surprise, were given for each game – although my workmate Adam felt like the ultimate winner after winning the 2 hour baby sitting voucher.

Another highlight would have to be the insane amount of food we all consumed. We had some of mum's famous deep fried wontons, my latest favourite recipe of mango scones (courtesy of Master Chef), not to mention my pork dumplings which my friend Rachel claims doesn't taste like pork (I take that as a compliment?). We had prepared enough food to feed another 10 people so everyone was grateful to take home some left-overs with them.

We also received the best gifts for our baby, everything from clothes and burp cloths to towels and toys. One of our favourites would have to be the musical octopus which makes a note when you squeeze its tentacles. I started playing a few tunes on it last night and baby was definitely dancing to it in my tummy!

We also invited everyone to write a little note to our little one in our baby book. It is now filled with beautiful words of love and inspiration and we feel so blessed that our baby is surrounded by so much love.

I know that baby showers are not a common event in Holland so check out this link for a little about the history behind baby showers.

So at 31 weeks, I’m only 9 weeks away (or it could be 6 or less weeks if baby comes early) from the big day. I will be working for another 7 weeks, unless I get so massive that it becomes uncomfortable to travel to and from work.

A baby development update: baby should now be about 1.5kg and measuring around 41cm. So really, it is now running out of room to move around inside my tummy. That doesn't mean it has stopped though! Baby should now start to move to the head-down position to get ready for the birth but our baby definitely hasn't as yet. He/she is still enjoying trampling my bladder from time to time.

I’m full of excitement and anticipation for baby’s arrival, most of all I can’t wait to meet our baby for the first time – what will he/she look, smell, feel, sound like?! As for the labour itself, I’m keeping calm by reminding myself that it’s a natural process, that I’m not sick, and it’s only 1 day of pain for so much gain. Though please check back with me again after I’ve given birth, my perspective might be very different by then :)

The Ultimate Pet

During our second last pregnancy class, Taryn talked about the view today's society has that a good baby is a baby that cries very little and sleeps all the time. I couldn't agree more, that sounds like the perfect baby to me! But then she said: “ if you want your baby to sleep all the time, get a pet rock!”. While that particular idea hadn't occurred to me yet, I have long considered a baby as the ideal pet.

Whenever Viv and I get the chance, we'll have a look at a pet shop. As it turns out, that happens at least once every one or two weeks, because that's how often we visit the shopping centre in Bondi Junction (or BJ's as we call it). Vivian usually looks at the designer-handbag dogs, and the tinier and uglier they are, the cuter she thinks they are. I generally look at the cats, and don't really care much for the rest. Vivian might have a look at a rabbit and a few hamsters if they have them, but I can't be bothered with those.

Throughout my childhood I remember there were always pets around of some sort. I'm not sure which was the first one, but I think it might have been a big rabbit. We usually had a rabbit around, although they aren't that much fun. You let it out inside and it will pee on the carpet somewhere, and chew through cables. You hold your finger out in front of it and it will take a horribly painful bite deep into your flesh. Let them roam the backyard and they will dig holes, once even digging itself underneath the fence and escaping into someone else's backyard. As a result, they spent much of their time in a small cage.

I can recall a canary-type bird (I think it was yellow) that we'd let out of it's cage to fly around the living room every now and then, until it one day flew straight into a window. I remember a goldfish who's bowl I managed to smash on the floor (I think... but the fish definitely ended up on the carpet one way or another!). I'm not sure if it was the same fish, but I once asked myself and my parents the question: Why don't fish have birthdays? That same night we turned off the light,s lit a couple of candles, and sang happy birthday for the goldfish. The thing with goldfish is though, they don't live very long, or at least not in our house. I was never too upset when one died, because #1: I got to flush it down the toilet, which I thought was kind of cool, thinking it would end up in the ocean, and #2: we'd go buy a new one that same day.

We went through a dozen or so Russian hamsters, and I think they were all named Boris (Boris 1, Boris 2, etc.). These were mostly my sisters pets. They were cute, but boy was that cuteness short-lived. I think the shortest might have been 3 months. I think they'd rarely get past their 1st year, and if they were really unlucky they would grow some sort of horrible bleeding tumor by the end of it. One lucky hamster escaped without ever being found again, a mystery to this day. And I vividly remember the day my sister accidently sat on one, boy can these little buggers screech! They sure were good to teach a child how to deal with grief, backyard burial rituals, and the beauty of hamster-heaven.

Finally, after a small army of pets came and went we wizened up and got a real pet; A cat. Cats are close to the perfect pet, as you can let them roam the neighbourhood the whole day while you're out, they come home in the afternoon, you feed them, they keep you company, that's it. They wash themselves, they don't bark, not even when there's an intruder in the house, and they generally don't run away because you didn't put them on a leash.

Vivian on the other hand, doesn't have too many pet memories. Here memories revolve around pet ducks who through some unexplained mystery from one day to the next where not there anymore. To this day she doesn't know what was the reason behind that, and I never had the heart to explain to her it's because Chinese people, and especially the Cantonese, have this irresistible urge to eat everything with a pulse. I don't know what turn of events made her a dog person, but luckily that won't be an issue for some time yet. Our own pet is on it's way.

What makes a baby the ultimate pet:

• If all goes to plan, you outlive them.
• If all goes to plan even more, they'll look after you when you're old. Ask a dog to do that for you.
• Until they're 7, they'll have no reason to run away, and until they're 10, you can outrun them anyway. Dogs? No leash required.
• They cost you nothing to get. Have you seen what a designer dog costs nowadays?
• Train them well in say, golf, or tennis, and you're set for life. Only horses can offer a similar return on investment.
• If you rent, like we do, you're not allowed pets. Babies however, no problem.
• You can decide yourself what mix you want to have. With pets, you're at the mercy of the breeder and their flavor of the month (Shitzu x Labrador = Shitrador). Instead, we made our own Chutchie (Chinese/Dutch/Aussie), exactly when WE felt like it.
• As a result, it looks like you, instead of you starting to look like your dog.
  

To Caesar or not to Caesar

With the media’s recent focus on the ‘too posh to push’ trend, especially amongst celebrities, we can be driven to think that having a Caesarean is the lazy way to give birth and we should be ashamed of ourselves to even consider this as an option.

Our class on this topic has dispelled a lot of the myth of Caesarean birth for me and I feel a lot more opened to the idea that this may be a real possibility for my own labour (given that about 1 in 3 births in Australia results in a Caesarean).

Under normal circumstances, a woman is encouraged to have a vaginal birth as that is how our bodies are designed to work. But sometimes, this is just not the way it works out. Maybe she’s had previous complications/surgery which would make it dangerous to give birth naturally, or maybe somewhere along the line of the labour something goes wrong. It is such a routine procedure that the risks to mum and baby are minimal.

There are also some advantages such as:

• No pain
• Quick delivery – it takes 5 minutes between the time of the incision to when you meet your baby
• Baby born with perfectly shaped head – as it doesn’t have to pass through the birth canal or have bruising from forceps or vacuum
  

As we wrap up on the birth itself, we started to learn about taking care of the baby after birth. We were advised of the immediate tests and injections for the baby (the Apgar Score – test of baby’s reflexes and general wellbeing, Vitamin K shot – to help baby with blood clotting). We were also shown some normal yet unusual things we might find on the baby (rash, blue hands and feet, pimples etc) as well as a quick run down of breast feeding (I will be attending a separate class on breast feeding).

But nothing was as interesting as seeing photos of what you can expect to find inside baby’s nappy during the first week. Basically its bowel movements changes from thick black tar, to dark green lumps, to brown mush and then to mustard yellow poo. We were even given a ‘poo chart’ to put on the fridge for a quick reference! I’ve attached this chart in this post for your enjoyment :) Now you’ll understand the reason that on Funniest Home Video they always show clips of dads trying not to vomit while changing baby nappies!

Next class will be our final one. I hope we’ve learnt enough to at least understand what is going on with the labour and those initial days with baby. The rest is up to us – what a daunting thought.

Update on baby – he/she should be around 38 cm from head to toe and weighing about 1kg. Baby should now be responding to light and sound a lot more, and while it practices breathing it may start to hiccup (I’m feeling baby’s hiccups at least once a day now).

Update on baby shopping – cot has arrived and we’ve picked a spot to place it in our room – at the end of our bed for easy access. Still undecided on the pram, the latest one we’re leaning towards is a Bugaboo Bee (see here). It’s a bit pricey but has everything we want whilst being light weight so it looks like a winner. Plus we can get it in a bright yellow colour, how uber stylish is that?!

Until next time…

Love, Viv + Baby

P.S. Can daddy David please write the next post?

Just give me some drugs!

Flying solo this week as Dave has a cold and was forced to miss class (not a very good thing to sneeze and blow your nose with a roomful of pregnant women). In this class we learned about pain relief during labour – drug and non-drug options.

Although I’m aiming to go drug free, it’s good to know about the options.

Gas
Combination of nitrous oxide and oxygen, commonly known as ‘happy gas’. It’s actually quite effective and fast acting but it also leaves the body immediately. So you need to keep sucking it which could tire you out easily.

Pethidine
Not the most effective pain relief but it acts as a relaxant – so if your labour is really long, it can help you relax and drift off between contractions. Although it can make some people feel sick.

Epidural
This is the one everyone talks about because after all it is a giant needle going into your spine (or specifically, your epidural space). Epidural is actually not the name of the drug, but the name of the procedure. Once you gain access to your epidural space, a local anaesthetic can be injected directly into your body and it blocks all pain from the waist down. As it takes a while for everything to be set up (including getting a 20 minute drip before hand to counter balance a drop in blood pressure), so if the midwife thinks you will give birth within the hour, you won’t get your epidural.

Non-Drug Options

Heat
Heat, especially wet heat (from shower/bath) is very effective for pain relief. So the water birth option is looking more and more appealing to me.

Massage
This includes massage of your acupuncture pressure points. Will definitely give this a try.

TENS (transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation)
This is an interesting one as it sends small electrical pulses up your spine to block the pain signals from reaching your brain. But you need to hire the unit beforehand if you want to start using it at home.

As well as learning about pain relief, we also watched a second video, this time from the dad’s point of view. Too bad Dave had a cold and missed this class. There were lots of funny comments from all the different dads and it also showed a vacuum assisted birth. Much more graphic than the last video but still a beautiful birth! I'll spare you all the 'juicy' details :)

Next class – Caesarean births! Good stuff!

I'll leave you with this intriguing video - a new exercise chair that'll make your back ache just by watching this infomercial! ENJOY!



Bye bye for now, from Viv and baby.

Now PUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSHHHHHHHHH

In our second birthing class, we learned more about the second stage of labour – the pushing. Although it should be one of the most painful things a woman would ever go through in her life, the fact that the baby is within minutes of arriving will make it easier to deal with.

After hours of contractions, the woman is understandably tired and giving those last pushes is not on the top of her ‘to-do’ list. One of the ways the midwife can incentivise this is by placing her hand on the top of the baby’s head (if it’s already ‘crowning’). The theory is that once she feels the baby, she’ll be able to muscle up that extra bit of energy for the big finale.

As usual, Taryn was full of practical tips that most books will not give you. For example, remember to empty your bladder every 2 hours. The intense pain of contractions will often distract you from the relatively minor discomfort of a full bladder. And having a full bladder can actually slow down labour as the womb is pushed upwards by all the liquid. Another great tip is: watch a long movie on dvd to kill the time. If you just sit around and only focus on the contractions, it can make the hours seem even longer. So I think we’ll have the Lord of the Rings box set ready for the big day.

We were also shown a video – before you cringe, it was nothing like one of those typical graphic medical videos. It was a part of a parenting show on Foxtel, hosted by Antonia Kidman (Nicole’s sister, who has had all 4 children at our hospital). One of the couples was actually in Taryn’s class last year. It followed all the action of their big day (not their wedding of course) and it really put me at ease. They were an average couple, similar in age to us, and going through their first pregnancy as well. After 19 hours of contractions (which started at 2am and yes they watched a dvd to kill time), they decided to head into hospital and within 2 hours, she gave birth. She chose to have a water birth without drugs and even though there was quite a bit of screaming towards the end, it wasn’t all that bad. And it really got me teary when the baby girl arrived and was placed on her chest. If I could choose how my own labour will go down, I think I’ll be more than happy to go through the same.

As we get closer and closer to the finish line, things are becoming more and more real. I’ve now finally encountered my first hurdle in the pregnancy – lack of sleep. Having to always sleep on my side has proven to be a real challenge – you have to do this because sleeping on your back puts pressure on blood-flow to the womb. Being used to sleeping on my back, this is quite an adjustment (and baby kicks whenever I try to get a little rest on my back). This is on top of getting sore legs and hips (from all the hormones released to get my body ready for labour), having to go to the bathroom once or twice during the night and getting extremely painful leg cramps from stretching. My only comfort is that this hasn’t disrupted David’s sleep, although I think matters will only get worse from here on.

In the meantime, I’m really happy with all the progress our baby is making. Kicks are getting stronger and it’s following a very steady sleeping pattern. I’m also starting to suspect that there’s more baby than water in my womb (similar to what Simone said about David when he was born). With my increasingly growing cravings for sweets, we’re well on our way to having a little giant! Both David and I are seeing our baby in our dreams, although the face is always fuzzy. We can’t wait to meet our little one and when it does arrive, it’s got a whole heap of cute baby clothes waiting! :)

Check out video below created by David. This time lapse of the Opera House was taken from the Overseas Passenger Terminal at Circular Quay, on June 13th and 14th, the final 2 nights of the Smart Light Walk which is part of the Vivid Sydney Festival. The movie is a combination of 3 sequences containing 850 images - they were 2 cold nights, he now has a cold :(

If it doesn't stop you from walking and talking, it's not ACTUAL labour

Last Wednesday night, we attended the first of 6 birthing classes at the hospital. Each class is 2.5 hours and we couldn't begin to think how they'd fill all those hours!

Well, to our surprise, the class flew by. We had one of the most experienced birthing coach in the state, Taryn, who has taught over 4500 couples! She was animated, informative and very knowledgeable about anything and everything baby related. Our first topics were 'what is labour' and 'signs of labour'. After reading our Baby Bible, we thought we had a good idea about what labour was but the books never describe things the way Taryn did.

If you divide a typical first time labour of 30 hours into 2 stages, the first 90% is the cramping and stretching of the uterus in preparation for the birth, and the last 10% is the actual pushing of the baby. That means for the first 27 hours, your uterus is vigourously pulling upwards to create a dilation of at least 10 cm in your cervix, so that the baby will actually fit through.

And what do those infamous contractions feel like? Ever had a cramp in your leg from stretching a little too hard while asleep? The sharp pain and helplessness you feel when that happens is what the labour will feel like, every few minutes or so. And the cramp will last from 30 seconds in the beginning (occurring every 10 minutes) to 90 seconds towards birth (occurring every 90 seconds). Wow! How I look forward to the pain!

We were also taught to look out for signs of actual labour (your body will have practice runs leading up to the big day) and Taryn did a very animated imitation of how someone will react to a real contraction – it will take your breath away and stop you from talking and walking. We also learned that only around 25% of women break their waters leading up to labour, and if the liquid is green or brown, your baby is in distress and has done a poo (nice one!). Mostly, one of the first signs of labour is a 'show'. I won't go into details here, you can Google it if you really want to know what that involves (probably not immediate before or after having a meal).

We also had a tour of the delivery suite. 4 weeks ago I wrote about how wonderful the birthing centre rooms were, well, the delivery suite was no different. You have the room to yourself. Besides the few monitoring equipment and the 3-part adjustable bed, it looks like a normal room. Stocked with distractions (one of the dads asked where the plasma TV was – oh, how all the dads laughed to that joke!) like Swiss ball, floor mat, cd player etc to cater to mum's comfort. My favourite was of course the en-suite bathroom, complete with bath and a 2 headed shower (so you can aim at 2 painful areas simultaneously). Dads are encouraged to join in the shower, provided that they wear swim wear (David would rather like to think that the nurses would enjoy seeing him without!).

Overall it was a great night, and we both look forward to the next 5 weeks of classes. Our group of 10 couples all seem very agreeable and I hope to make some friends so we can hang out after our babies are born.

We also had our appointment with midwife Alex. Everything is going really well. I'm growing at about 1 cm a week so that's well on track. And baby's heart was beating beautifully – a sound that always brings a huge smile to our faces.

Well, that's it for another week - week 24. If my labour is on the early side, we can expect a new baby is less than 13 weeks! Now isn't that an exciting thought!?

Love,

Viv

Life's like a petri dish - you never know what you're gonna get

In my last year in high school, we did an experiment in Biology class one Friday afternoon; growing bacteria in a petri dish. Each individual in the class (of about 8) was given a dish, and was given the simple task to grow bacteria from different sources. Then, the dishes would go into a incubator during the weekend, and the results would be shown on Monday.

Unfortunately, it wasn't a free-for-all, and we had to pick one specific 'source' for the bacteria. Air, tap water, a finger on a thoroughly washed hand, and I was tasked to use my non-washed hand to start my own colony of bacteria. One person was asked to simply breathe onto the dish, but was specifically warned by the teacher: do not cough on it! Apparently, doing this had the potential of creating a biohazard of epic proportions. Now that caught my attention! I quietly scraped my throat in preparation, and when the teacher wasn't paying attention, I opened the lid on my dish to do a big nasty whooping cough straight onto it.

When the results were presented to us on Monday the result was beautiful. My dish was filled with all the colours of the rainbow, representing all sorts of bacteria, and looked spectacular next to all the other dishes. And the disturbed look on the teachers face was priceless when she realised that this was supposedly from my unwashed hand.

That was the last time I was this excited over a biological experiment I was involved in. What also excites me is that I'm probably the first person in the history of the world to compare the conception of his first child with coughing into a petri dish.

I fully understand the concept of genetics, and the 50/50 split that occurs, but if the child was 100% like yourself (i.e. a clone, a mini-me), that would be totally creepy, so 50% means half of totally creepy, which is still pretty creepy. But then again, I can get used to the idea quite quickly. We sometimes try to picture what a baby that's half me, half Vivian will look like, and we can't help but get a bit worried. In particular its forehead. If ours is anything to go by, the baby will end up with a forehead 50 centimetres tall. And then its teeth! It will most probably have double rows, top and bottom, of big wonky teeth, like a great white shark. Possibly born with them as well. Come to think of it, perhaps we should have adopted after all!

Note about the photo: As part of the Opera House Luminous Festival and Vivid Sydney Festival, landmarks around the CBD are lit up at night with beautiful projections, as well as many night sculptures. This was taken across from the Opera House, in front of the Park Hyatt hotel. By chance there was a massive sailing boat docked for the night. We hope you like it :)

David.

The sweet life

Answering Gerard's request from last week, here's a photo of me at around 2 (click on photo to enlarge). Yep, I looked like a leg ham with all those layers of clothes.

And so much has changed since 1985... My current hourly income is more than what mum used to make in a month; I would not own my first CD for another 10 years; and I wouldn't have travelled outside of my province for another 5 years.

This week, I'd like to write about some of my most treasured childhood memories that I'll be sure to share with my children and even grandchildren for the many years to come.

Wontons or no wontons

From the age of around 8, I started walking to school by myself. On my way there, I'd always visit my favourite noodle house to get my daily breakfast. Eating out is such a common practice in Guangzhou (my home town) so it wasn't such an extravagance for a little kid to do the same. The most important decision was always 'wontons or no wontons'. Wontons are little dumplings stuffed with pork, prawns and mushrooms, and are usually part of your noodle soup. The dilemma for any 8 year old was whether to spend 1.50 yuan (around 25 cents) to include wontons with your noodles or just go with plain noodles, a thrifty 1 yuan. The saving would mean the difference of an ice-block later that day or no arvo snack. Decisions decisions. If only adult life was so simple!

Snails and swallows

For reasons unknown, I was fascinated by snails as a child. The way they move and leave what looks like snot trails, the way their tentacles shrink when you touch them, and not to mention the way they can fit their whole body into their shell. The apartment we used to live in was behind the main block of street facing buildings and could be reached via many alley ways from all different directions. There was a garden bed on one of the less direct alley ways that seemed to house snails en masse, especially after some rain. I'd always make sure to take that way home on rainy days so I could collect a new selection of snails, big and small. But for the life of me, I can't remember now what I ever did with them once I took them home. Another upside of taking the long way home was a swallows nest sitting on the wooden beam of an old fashion sliding door of one of the houses on that alley way. Even though it was quite high up and hard to see, hearing those little baby swallows chirp was just the best.

Summer holidays

When you're a kid, summer holidays always seemed to last a century. I'd always look forward to having my cousin, Cathy, over to play. We'd spend hours sitting in the plastic bath tub, scooping water in and out of our little pots, pretending to cook up a feast, until our skin would wrinkle up like prunes. Another favourite game was teachers and students. We gave all our dolls names of kids from our school – the naughty kids' names were always given to the boy dolls and the most well behaved dolls were always named after our best friends. We'd get really creative with what little classroom 'facilities' we had – a thin sheet of paper placed in front of the lamp would become the overhead projector, a knitting needle would become our blackboard pointer. Long days of play always ended with a nap on the bamboo weave mat placed on the tiled floor of the living room. I still love my naps till this day.

I know that our baby will have a very different life to mine. But I hope that one day, he/she will look back on their childhood and remember those simple things and moments which sums up 'la dolce vita'.

What's in a name?

It's been a while since my last entry. I cannot match Viv's prolific output; you know, busy busy busy, people to meet, places to visit.

Last time I talked about nicknames, this time I'll talk about names. Real names. You see, as most of you are probably aware, there will come a time when your baby will have to be given a name. Something that will haunt them for the rest of their lives. This is serious stuff. Viv and I discussed potential baby names years and years ago. It won't surprise you to hear it was always Vivian who started that discussion, but I'm always happy to go along with. Besides, I wouldn't know what else to talk to, and you gotta do something to avoid those awkward silent moments sitting side by side on the couch during ad breaks in Biggest Loser.

We collectively changed our minds a couple times (I'm easy with things like that), but for the past 3 years we settled on two names; X and Y. These names were going to be secret until the day the baby was born, but unfortunately that day I forgot to send Vivian a memo advising her of that decision. By week -10 (that's right, negative ten), all of Viv's colleagues with the names X and Y had been informed that that's what our children were going to be named, and that they themselves had nothing to do with that decision, because these names were picked way before we even knew these people. I guess it's still somewhat of an honour, because had those people been annoying or disagreeable in any way, that name would have probably been scrapped.

By week 12 Viv informed my brother via email simply because he mentioned names somewhere in the email. The cat was well and truly out of the bag now, but still I asked if we could keep it a surprise to at least a few people (the ones living under rocks). Reluctant to oblige she tried brushing it aside saying, 'It might not even look like an X or Y'. Now, I've heard that one before. In fact, I heard that one so often I lost count. I can't wait to finally understand what that means, because right now, I can't imagine what it's like to look at your newborn, and decide it definitely does/doesn't look like an X or Y. How on earth do you decide whether or not a baby looks like a particular name? Did I look like a David when I was born? Do I look like one now? Personally, I always thought I looked a bit like a Norbert (see photo – aged 6), but hey, what can you do; nobody asked me at the time. If I was to take a hot bath for the next 9 months, fully submerged, will I still look like a Norbert? Probably even more so, and the thought definitely sounds appealing.

As long as it doesn't come out looking like a Benjamin Button I don't care, because I will do a runner to the nearest canal; I can't wait for another 40 years before it looks like a Brad Pitt!

Ultrasound & Birth Centre

On Tuesday we went to have our second ultrasound to check that everything’s developing well with the baby. Again, I didn’t drink enough water (a large bladder pushes the womb upwards so it’s easier for the technician to make all the measurements) so the lady decided to tilt the bed backwards. It was…..interesting………to say the least and a couple of times I felt like I was going to slide off the bed!

Since there is less room this time, our baby wasn’t moving as much as last time. And since it’s bigger, you can't see the whole body in the one shot so it wasn’t as exciting as the last ultrasound. But we did get to see the baby’s hands and feet in great detail, as well as the heart pumping the blood at 153 beats a minute! Look at attached photo of our baby waving to the world.

From head to butt the baby is now a little over 15 centimetres long. And the technician should be able to tell the sex. Although we told her as soon as we walked in that we didn’t want to find out, we couldn’t help but notice when she made a gender specific comment! Even though it was just the once, it did put ideas in our heads.

After the ultrasound we also met our midwife, Alex, for the first time. She was very nice and understanding and I think it’ll be great to have her at the birth. She gave us the option to give birth at the birth centre or the delivery clinic. “What’s the difference?!” I hear you ask. We asked the same question too. Basically, the birth centre offers a setting similar to a home birth. They don’t perform continuous monitoring and provides little intervention. They also don’t offer any hard drugs (e.g. epidural) but will give me a little happy gas to ease the pain. The delivery clinic, just around the corridor, has a more clinical setting. You’ll be hooked up to all the machines monitoring everything and they will intervene and offer drugs when needed. When Alex showed us a room in the birth centre, our minds were easily made up. It looked like a normal bedroom, with a double bed (so dad can also get in) and a huge bathroom with an enormous bath tub (if you want to give water birth a go) and an equally big shower. You also get to have the room by yourself and if you need intervention or drugs at any stage, just say the word and they’ll walk you right into the delivery clinic. So it’s the best of both worlds! I hope I will be strong enough and that the birth will be smooth enough for us to stay in the birth centre the whole time.

Again, the hospital is impressing us with its endless good service and first class facilities. I don't think anyone has been as excited to go stay in a hospital as me! In a few weeks we'll be doing some classes on the birth and breast-feeding, plus a hospital tour. I'm sure there'll be more impressive hospital updates to come.

Bye bye for now......*baby waves good-bye to everyone*

Love,

Viv

All mixed up…

This week I decided to write about mixed-race children. I’ve always thought that mixed kids are the most good looking kids you can have, simply look at Keanu Reaves, Halle Berry, just to name a couple. And I’m surrounded by friends who are mixed – Laura (Chinese / Malaysian / New Zealander), April (Filipino / Australian), Lin (Singaporean / Dutch)… So I’m very excited that my kids will fit into this category of good looking people and I expect nothing less than giving birth to a super model in less than 5 months!

And as far as we’re both aware, we are as pure bred as they come. I’m 100% Chinese and David 100% Dutch. And for my side of the family, this is the most mixed-race child to join the family (I do have a cousin who is ¼ Indonesian) so everyone is psyched about the half ghost baby. Oh, and I should explain: when Chinese people first encountered Europeans, they thought that their skin was too impossibly white so they must’ve been ghosts. The name stuck, even till now, and most Chinese people will still refer to Westerners as ‘ghosts’. My grandma, for example, likes to call David ‘ghost boy’. It’s not meant to be derogatory but rather an endearing term. For Chinese people (and Asians in general), pale skin is sign of wealth and health – as only farmers and labourers should be tanned. Which explains my mum’s comment about soy sauce (see my last blog entry)!

And this brings me to some of the questions that we’ve had from David’s family about what surname the baby will take and what nationality he will have (we’re in an even number week, so it’s a ‘he’). We’ve never really discussed the surname as we’ve both always thought that the baby will have David’s surname. It’s not common in Chinese culture for the child to take the mother’s surname. Although, all married women retain their own surnames, rather than changing to their husbands’. And in terms of our baby’s nationality, he’ll of course be an AUSTRALIAN. As far as we know, he won’t be qualified for dual citizenship (definitely not part Chinese citizen and most probably not part Dutch either). I’ve long given up my Chinese citizenship but as long as David remains Dutch, our children will qualify to carry an EU passport. As for me, just like any non-Chinese citizen, I have to apply for a visa when I travel to China. But as soon as I enter the border, I’m required to give my Chinese name as I’m of Chinese ancestry. Isn’t that odd? When my sister first travelled to China, my parents had to come up with a Chinese name on the spot as they’ve never given her one!

And the exciting new for this week – week 18 – is that I felt the baby move for the first time! And so did Dave! I was lying on my back watching tv when all of a sudden there was this ‘flipping’ movement in my lower abdomen. So I quickly grabbed Dave’s hand and he felt the next movement too! It was so amazing – our baby was doing some complicated gymnastics routine at such a young age! Do you think they’ll let he represent China, Holland AND Australia in the 2012 Olympics?

Until next time….

Pregnancy superstitions

David has recently been advised by Simone to massage my little toe! Apparently it’s a technique from Chinese medicine to help with the wellbeing of mother and baby. Since I’m very ticklish with my feet and Dave isn’t too into my mangy little toes, we haven’t put this technique to the test. But it does make me think of all the pregnancy related superstitions……..sorry, I mean ‘advice’…….that I’ve been given lately.

- My mum actually told me to follow this one and she was dead serious: avoid soy sauce. At first I thought she meant it has too much salt but it’s actually a superstition that the colour will give your baby dark skin! (Oh, how my dad laughed!)

- Rachel (one of my close girlfriends) explained that if you deny being pregnant, when in fact you are, it will bring extreme bad luck. But luckily for me, she never asked me the question before our big announcement so I was able to avoid the bad luck for my baby. Phew!

- Wishing your baby is a particular sex: according to my colleague, if you wish that your baby is a particular sex when your baby is actually the opposite, it can create resentment in the baby, towards you (the mother) and its gender! Wow, I’m definitely not going to touch that one!

- Rubbing your tummy – this is one that I read from a website last night and it’s another Chinese superstition. Apparently if you rub your pregnant tummy too much, you’ll produce a demanding child. As if a new born isn’t demanding enough already! I really hope this one isn’t true because I enjoy rubbing my tummy way too much!

And for those of you thinking or wanting to fall pregnant – DON’T talk about it too often! According to my colleague Julia, if you yap about it too much it might never happen to you! So shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

One thing that I hope won't be bad luck for my baby is flowers. David surprised me last week with a bunch of baby pink roses! Awwww..... I love being pregnant! I can get used to getting roses every week :)