Life's like a petri dish - you never know what you're gonna get

In my last year in high school, we did an experiment in Biology class one Friday afternoon; growing bacteria in a petri dish. Each individual in the class (of about 8) was given a dish, and was given the simple task to grow bacteria from different sources. Then, the dishes would go into a incubator during the weekend, and the results would be shown on Monday.

Unfortunately, it wasn't a free-for-all, and we had to pick one specific 'source' for the bacteria. Air, tap water, a finger on a thoroughly washed hand, and I was tasked to use my non-washed hand to start my own colony of bacteria. One person was asked to simply breathe onto the dish, but was specifically warned by the teacher: do not cough on it! Apparently, doing this had the potential of creating a biohazard of epic proportions. Now that caught my attention! I quietly scraped my throat in preparation, and when the teacher wasn't paying attention, I opened the lid on my dish to do a big nasty whooping cough straight onto it.

When the results were presented to us on Monday the result was beautiful. My dish was filled with all the colours of the rainbow, representing all sorts of bacteria, and looked spectacular next to all the other dishes. And the disturbed look on the teachers face was priceless when she realised that this was supposedly from my unwashed hand.

That was the last time I was this excited over a biological experiment I was involved in. What also excites me is that I'm probably the first person in the history of the world to compare the conception of his first child with coughing into a petri dish.

I fully understand the concept of genetics, and the 50/50 split that occurs, but if the child was 100% like yourself (i.e. a clone, a mini-me), that would be totally creepy, so 50% means half of totally creepy, which is still pretty creepy. But then again, I can get used to the idea quite quickly. We sometimes try to picture what a baby that's half me, half Vivian will look like, and we can't help but get a bit worried. In particular its forehead. If ours is anything to go by, the baby will end up with a forehead 50 centimetres tall. And then its teeth! It will most probably have double rows, top and bottom, of big wonky teeth, like a great white shark. Possibly born with them as well. Come to think of it, perhaps we should have adopted after all!

Note about the photo: As part of the Opera House Luminous Festival and Vivid Sydney Festival, landmarks around the CBD are lit up at night with beautiful projections, as well as many night sculptures. This was taken across from the Opera House, in front of the Park Hyatt hotel. By chance there was a massive sailing boat docked for the night. We hope you like it :)

David.