I'm writing this 3 days before Anna is due to start childcare – wow, time really does FLY! I can still remember holding my little bundle of joy for the first time as if it happened yesterday and now I'm sending her off to be cared for by strangers. What a weird feeling!
No one can ever prepare you for the joys and tribulations of parenthood and now I'm beginning to really feel guilty for the first time as a mum. Not that I haven't been feeling guilty for the last 10 ½ months – stopping breastfeeding even though it's been 8 months: guilty!; not feeding Anna home made food 100% of the time: guilty!; falling asleep with Anna instead of doing housework: guilty! Being a mum is one endless episode of guilt. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade this for anything else in the world. But as we're on the cusp of a new beginning for both Anna and me, I can't help but wonder whether I've spent the past year wisely enough.
Being a full time mum is the toughest job I've ever had and the most enjoyable one as well. Days are filled with chores like nappy changes and feeds, and lots of laughter and a real sense of being a kid again. While each task or game may seem mundane on their own, together they form your baby's world and perhaps they'll one day become treasured memories of their childhood.
One real godsend has been my mothers' group. The MG meetings on each and every Wednesdays have become a staple in our lives. It's a great place for the mums to learn from each other, vent our frustrations and provide support to each other. It's also great fun for our babies to play and interact with each other. This Wednesday we attended our last MG meeting and as I hugged and kissed goodbye my fellow mums and babies, it really hit home that this is indeed the end of an era. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank each and every single mum that I've met via our MG as you've all helped me be the best mum I can be to Anna. And to your babies, it's been a privilege to watch you all grow into beautiful little toddlers.
I will try to find sometime to write another entry with an update on Anna's developments for the past couple of months. Until then,
With lots of love,
Anna's mum
