What's in a name?

It's been a while since my last entry. I cannot match Viv's prolific output; you know, busy busy busy, people to meet, places to visit.

Last time I talked about nicknames, this time I'll talk about names. Real names. You see, as most of you are probably aware, there will come a time when your baby will have to be given a name. Something that will haunt them for the rest of their lives. This is serious stuff. Viv and I discussed potential baby names years and years ago. It won't surprise you to hear it was always Vivian who started that discussion, but I'm always happy to go along with. Besides, I wouldn't know what else to talk to, and you gotta do something to avoid those awkward silent moments sitting side by side on the couch during ad breaks in Biggest Loser.

We collectively changed our minds a couple times (I'm easy with things like that), but for the past 3 years we settled on two names; X and Y. These names were going to be secret until the day the baby was born, but unfortunately that day I forgot to send Vivian a memo advising her of that decision. By week -10 (that's right, negative ten), all of Viv's colleagues with the names X and Y had been informed that that's what our children were going to be named, and that they themselves had nothing to do with that decision, because these names were picked way before we even knew these people. I guess it's still somewhat of an honour, because had those people been annoying or disagreeable in any way, that name would have probably been scrapped.

By week 12 Viv informed my brother via email simply because he mentioned names somewhere in the email. The cat was well and truly out of the bag now, but still I asked if we could keep it a surprise to at least a few people (the ones living under rocks). Reluctant to oblige she tried brushing it aside saying, 'It might not even look like an X or Y'. Now, I've heard that one before. In fact, I heard that one so often I lost count. I can't wait to finally understand what that means, because right now, I can't imagine what it's like to look at your newborn, and decide it definitely does/doesn't look like an X or Y. How on earth do you decide whether or not a baby looks like a particular name? Did I look like a David when I was born? Do I look like one now? Personally, I always thought I looked a bit like a Norbert (see photo – aged 6), but hey, what can you do; nobody asked me at the time. If I was to take a hot bath for the next 9 months, fully submerged, will I still look like a Norbert? Probably even more so, and the thought definitely sounds appealing.

As long as it doesn't come out looking like a Benjamin Button I don't care, because I will do a runner to the nearest canal; I can't wait for another 40 years before it looks like a Brad Pitt!