I admit, I'm on facebook. Vivian made me do it. No, actually, Vivian did it for me. I sat on the couch while she set it all up, added photos, a few friends, etc. I told her what password I wanted, that's about it. The rest is history; as these things go, it went viral, and now one year later, I already have 12 friends on my list.
I think someone once worked out that it's officially the worlds biggest time waster, costing employers around the world billions in wasted productivity. It's bloggerhea. Basically, you fart, and you go on Facebook, and say: 'I just farted'. And then friends can leave comments like: 'eewwwww!!!', 'me too', 'hahahaha', or 'I sharted and now I need a change of underwear'. And if you're passionate about the subject, you can start your own 'I farted' group, and then try to get as many people possible to join.
Since signing up I received several messages from people looking for a particular David van der Meer, asking me whether I was the one they once knew. I had to disappoint all of them. It does make you wonder about the other David van der Meer's out there though. One of them apparently speaks Spanish. But that's just an educated guess because the message went something like: ¡Ola! Commo estas bientador el gustas David van der Meer? Si no, haba da habla. Gracias.
Another one is a travel agent somewhere in Australia. I found that out after he sent a friend request. Then he invited me to join the David van der Meer's group that he started. I didn't have the heart to tell a namesake that I think he's a bit of a tool for doing such a thing, and instead joined his group. He had three already, me and himself included. The third one probably spoke Spanish, but I never checked, and now I can't, because both he and the group he started vanished from my facebook page, without leaving a trace. He must have realised himself the severity of what he's done, and he's now hiding in shame.
I can't really blame my parents for giving me the same name as him, especially since he's a couple years younger than me, and will just have to live with it. But a bit of research on my behalf can save my future offspring years of considerable embarrassment.
This week I looked up other people with the same names as the ones we've decided giving our kids, and I'm pleased to say that nothing untoward came up, so both names are still 'go'.
I only found two Xxxx van der Meer's, one that lived 400 years ago, the other once did a bungee jump somewhere in Africa, based on his Facebook profile picture.
I found three Yyyy van der Meer's. Two are on Facebook; one that likes to be seen clutching a Starbucks mug, and another that just doesn't like to be recognised at all so instead putting up a blurry and somewhat suggestive image of what I assume is her dancing with another guy. The last one authored an incredibly boring sounding book on law that presumably married some Polish bloke while deciding to keep both surnames resulting in a really bizarre name.
In the mean time, I have come up with another nickname for baby. During our last visit to the midwife she had some trouble figuring out whether baby was in the right position. Basically, both ends of the baby felt like a bum. I've been calling it Baby Bumface since, although Vivian doesn't seem to like it as much. In fact, she doesn't like it at all.
This morning I heard baby's heartbeat for the first time, by pressing my ear to Vivian's belly. It was fantastic. What was even better, when I started talking to it I could hear the heartbeat go up, and baby started moving around quite a bit. I'd like to think that baby was excited to hear me, as most baby books would like you to believe, but for all I know it was baby getting very annoyed being woken up by some giant sending it into sensory overload, and was trying to communicate: 'Shut up, I'm trying to sleep!'.
For now, I will leave you with the faces of two of our baby's namesakes.
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