Viv & Dave's Baby Blog: He's here!

Can't believe it has been more than a year since my last entry!

As most of you know, we welcomed our son Jacob into the world a few weeks ago. I want to use this chance to give everyone an update on how we're all going.

Let's start with the birth. Apologies to those who've already heard this many times before.

My mum had been staying over for a week to help out and be on standby to take care of Anna when we had to head to hospital. We'd put up balloons and put out all the presents ready to surprise Anna the next morning for her birthday. Then my contraction started at 2.49am, the first thought that popped into my head was 'they'll have the same birthday!' Everyone in my family has a 'twin' within the family, someone with the same birthday or 1 day apart but having 2 children on the same day is just unbelievable. I held on for 2 hours at home then met my midwife, Leilani, at the hospital. Got into the tub as soon as it was filled as I was aiming for a water birth. Everything was going well, my waters broke and the contractions intensified. Then the pushing started, Jacob's head kept slipping back in whenever I made any progress. We later looked this up and they called it 'the turtle head'. Leilani got someone else to help and we could hear them sounding a bit unsure. At one point I was really close so they lifted me up to let gravity do its job, it worked, out came the head. But then the body just wouldn't budge, off went the emergency alarm and 10 people rushed in from out of nowhere and several people had to help me out of the tub and into the bed on all fours (with Jacob's head already out). Luckily they were able to, I'll use my midwife's words, 'corkscrew' him out, all within a couple of minutes. And Jacob was given the all clear straight away. I had major tearing, and many stitches, but they're healing fine now. It wasn't till later that we found out that we only had a 7 minute window between the head and body being born before major complications would develop, so it was a major emergency. If you're interested to read more about it (not recommended if you don't yet have kids and are planning to one day), it's called shoulder dystocia.

Jacob was a much bigger baby than we expected, he weighed a whopping 4.432kg (800g heavier than Anna), 55cm long (exactly the same as Anna) and his head measured 37cm (compared to Anna's 36cm). Or as Leilani lovingly put it, he's a little heffalump.

Jacob - 2 minutes old

Holding him in my arms for the first time, the feeling was exactly the same as with Anna - amazed that we created this little miracle, a perfect little human being. We both thought that he looked a lot like Anna when she was a newborn, except with more hair. We were also pleasantly surprised that he was a boy (we didn't want to know the sex, just like last time) and named him Jacob - a name that we chose quite a few years ago, along with Anna. It's as if it was meant to be, we chose these 2 names and ended up using both.

Anna holding Jacob for the first time

When the doctor and midwives were done with their paperwork, it was time to bring in Anna and my family. We've been looking forward to the moment that she meets her baby brother/sister for the first time. She looked very excited but also a little unsure at first. After a little while she was happy to hold and kiss him. It was so sweet to see her so smitten with her brother. We brought along a gift from Jacob to her, as recommended by other parents to help with the introduction of a new baby - it was a cabbage patch baby doll. In a way, I felt a little bad for Anna that her birthday excitement was somehow lessen. Luckily we've planned ahead, so she'd still have a birthday party to look forward to in November.

Anna's birthday party - complete with kid who photobombed (girl in blue next to Anna is from another party), and upset Bettina

I rode on the euphoric high of the first few hours, then the real work started after everyone has gone home. Jacob started his feeding frenzy straight away (newborns do this to help kickstart the breastmilk production) but was not satisfied with the colostrum alone. One of the midwives on duty suggested giving him some formula, as he was a large baby he'd also feel more hungry. I wasn't too precious about the breast feeding, as I've done it before I knew I could do it, and that my milk will take a few days to come in. So we gave him a little formula, which definitely helped settle him. I spent another night in hospital, and he was wanting to feed non-stop again. After feeding him for 5 hours straight, the midwife suggested that she'd express my colostrum and she'd feed it to him via a syringe. This finally settled him so we were both able to sleep after such a long night.

Walking through hospital corridor on our way home

After 2 nights in hospital we were ready to come home again. My family had been staying at our place and had stocked up our fridge with food which was very helpful. After sending them home, we found ourselves with 2 sleeping children so we also slept - for the first time, the 4 of us, sleeping as a complete family.

We went through the first 2 weeks of sleepless nights, David and I taking turns to settle Jake. With several rather cold nights, he would wake up and cry as soon as we tried to put him in his bassinet. He seemed to like sleeping in the car capsule so we let him do that a few times. Leilani came to visit as part of the postnatal care and as usual she was extremely helpful and understanding. She also wanted to make sure both David and I were recovering from the traumatic birth, physically and mentally, which we were. We both agreed that knowing Jake was fine was really helpful in getting us over the fact that we had a near miss with tragedy.

Even though it's more work having to look after 2 children, we both found it easier this time around. Knowing what to expect and how to handle different situations really helped. We're also less worried about the crying which meant that Jake is also more chilled out - babies are so in tuned with your moods so our relaxed approach is definitely making a huge difference this time. So we're not picking him up each time he cries and so far he's been doing great at self settling to sleep. Often after a few minutes of crying, he's out like a light. He's also a great sleeper during the day, often having 2 hour naps, which means I'm also having more time to rest and get on with household chores. I was just saying to a friend yesterday that our apartment is much tidier than comparing to the baby photos of Anna where the background was always a mess!

Jake has just reached his 1-month milestone last week and he's thriving. The breast feeding is now very established, he has around 7-8 feeds a day of which 2 are night feeds. He loves his baths, just like Anna, and Dave is enjoying being the chief bather. He's been having a fair share of poo explosions and vomits, but instead of panicking like I did last time, I just have a laugh and put on another load of washing. He's also giving us his first smiles which is just the sweetest thing (and as all parents know, also the hardest things to capture in photos!). With the relatively 'easier' baby, David was able to return to work after 2 weeks at home. Even though it was great having him there with me all the time, I didn't freak out when it was time to be on my own as I did with Anna.

Anna's shielding Jake's eyes from scary bit of movie

Anna is a proud and affectionate big sister. The first thing she asks after coming home from school everyday without fail is 'where's baby? Can I give him a kiss?' She also shields his eyes when there's a scary bit in a movie, saying 'baby is scared'. But we also have had a few tantrums, which is unavoidable as she is no longer the only child and the pressure of being the big girl has been catching up to her. We're trying to make sure that she still gets one-on-one time with both of us and that her life is still as similar to before as possible. Soon we'll reduce her days at childcare to 2 days a week, which will be a real test for me having to take care of both of them on my own. I've been putting down ideas for outings and easy to make snacks and lunches so that I'll be prepared. I think the biggest challenge will be to keep Anna entertained while I'm busy with Jacob, as most tasks with him is still quite time consuming. I've bought a few craft books so that I can have some activities ready for her. The last thing I want is for her to be watching tv all day. We're also considering signing her up to dance classes so she has another physical outlet (as well as continuing with her swimming lessons).

Next week I'll be having a postnatal check up and gynaecologist appointment, so I hope to have an update for you on how I'm recovering. Thanks again for all your messages, especially those asking about how I'm doing. It has been a more physically demanding pregnancy and birth for me this time, but my spirits are high and all this support from friends and family is really helping me with my recovery. With time I'll be back to my old self again.

I hope to keep this blog up to date as often as possible, but I know my output will be less frequent than last time. Thanks again for all your well wishes, cards and presents. I can't say this often enough: our family is truly blessed to have you all in our lives.

Until next time, take a look at these photos of Anna and Jacob around the same age and you'll see how similar they are: