3 is a crowd

With Jake's 5-month birthday looming tomorrow I thought it was about time that I updated this blog.

As of the start of this year, Anna has been going to daycare on Tuesdays and Wednesdays only. As predicted in my last entry, having them both at home is a completely new ball game. So far the biggest challenge for me has been sleep. As I'm still getting up at night to feed Jake, I try to catch a nap in the afternoon so I can function. It's easy when there's just Jake - he falls asleep and I drop everything and lay down in bed. But with the 2 of them, it's a lot of luck and negotiations (such as allowing Anna to watch some TV after she wakes up from her nap), and sometimes even threats (if you don't sleep, we won't go to the park tomorrow). When it works out we all have a nice 2-hour nap, when it doesn't I have a cranky Anna by 6pm when she's tired and hungry and I feel just the same.

Big sis

On the positive side Anna has been a great big sister and an eager helper most of the time. She's always rushing to his bedside as soon as she hears him wake up from a nap. And when I need to get a quick chore done, she's always the one to keep Jake happy. Last week she even put him to sleep all by herself, by singing a song, covering him with a blanket and she even thought of putting his burp cloth in front of him in case he does a vomit. We can't be more proud of her! They're also developing such a special bond between them, they just love each other to bits. Anna says things like "mummy I love him so much" or "Jakie is my favourite boy in the whole wide world". And when you see Jake's smile when he sees Anna, you just know that he feels the same way about her. It's so sweet to see!

Going out

We try to head out at least once a day. I was worried before Jake was born that it'd be a huge challenge to take them both out. But they've been really good, even on the bus. Getting on and off is always a bit touch and go, especially when we get unhelpful drivers who don't park close to the curb or lower the bus. Anna is also very cooperative with crossing the road and holding onto the pram to walk rather than running ahead.

On Mondays it's become a bit of a routine that we'd head to the library. Anna loves choosing books to borrow and she now knows how to use the computer to check out the books and using the book drop to return them. On other days we usually end up at a park somewhere, so Anna can run off some of her boundless energy and Jake can enjoy watching all the action around him. 

Solids

Just like with Anna, we started Jake onto solids early at 4 months of age. In fact, it was a week before he reached 4 months. I had already bought the baby rice cereal and bowls and spoons, so when he was grabbing my spoon while I was eating yoghurt I thought I'd just give him a little cereal to see how he'd cope. He's been eating ever since. He got a bit constipated at first and is still getting use to doing what we call 'grown up poos'. So far he's tried pumpkin, sweet potatoes, avocado, broccoli, zucchini, eggplant, corn, apple, pear, peach, rockmelon, and grapes. And he loves it all. He now has 2 solids meal a day: fruit and cereal for brekky and veg and cereal for dinner.

Rolling

Jake started rolling back in December. He'd been trying for a few days and when we were over at my parents' for a family Christmas gathering he finally made it over. Since then he has not stopped rolling whenever he's put down onto his back. As he has never warmed to tummy time and being on his tummy tends to bring up vomits, it's been a real challenge putting him to sleep. We promptly moved him into the cot which was not an issue for him at all (whereas Anna really didn't like the big bed, much preferred to be snug in the bassinet). It was not being able to fall asleep on his tummy and waking up whenever he rolled over in his sleep that bothered him (and us!). We'd physically hold him down so he couldn't roll over, until he falls asleep. We tried using a set of bumper cushions but they didn't really stop him rolling when he really tried. There were many many hours spent sitting by his bedside holding him down by his arms. Finally, at our latest check up, the health nurse recommended that we just let him roll and start teaching him self-settling again (which he used to do brilliantly before the rolling started). It's been going ok so far, day sleeps are much better than bedtime at night. There are times when he brings up a vomit and we'd have to change his sheets, but luckily it doesn't happen at every sleep. He now happily sleeps on his tummy which is a great win for us.

All the measurements

So now to the obligatory numbers: at 4 months, Jake weighed 7.5 kg (Anna was 8kg!) and measured 70cm long (compared to 69cm for Anna). He's a happy baby, always ready to flash you a smile and enjoys a good laugh when we make funny faces or sounds. Just like Anna he loves his bath. He also enjoys putting absolutely everything into his mouth, with his favourite being mum's pinky. He loves watching everything around him while being carried in the baby bjorn, in fact that's how I cook dinner most nights. We're really enjoying our baby, our Jakie (this is what we call him most often).

It's almost 11 now, I think I should have a quick shower and head to bed. Hope it won't be months again before my next entry.

Update on our little giants

I thought since Anna is still at daycare full time I should write another entry for the blog. I took Jacob to his immunisation last Thursday. It's always hard to watch your child cry, but as always he surprised me with his resilience to pain. While we were there the doctor took the opportunity to weigh and measure him. Jacob is a healthy 61.5 cm tall, and he weighed 5.5 kg. He is placed at the 95th percentile for weight and he is off the charts for his height. David and I are good at making giant babies!

I also had my checkup at the gynaecologist and am happy to report that everything is on track with my recovery. I will have some follow-up appointments in the upcoming months but with how everything has gone so far I'm confident that I will recover fully very soon.

We also attended our first mothers group meeting last week at the early childhood centre. It was run by the health nurse who visited us at home: Cate. A few of the mums spoke about their birth experiences and some were a lot worse than ours, including one where the spinal block didn't work and she felt the first incision of her cesarean section. There were also lots of positive stories which really showed what a variety of different births one can have. I also shared my birth story and I found it really helpful to talk about it openly especially with other mums. I think mothers are the bravest people in the world and we all share a special bond. I also came across an episode of 'one born every minute' this week (an UK show filmed in the maternity unit of a hospital) which featured a birth with shoulder dystocia, here's a link to clips from the show.

One of the other topics covered was burping: to burp or not too burp. I've noticed that Jacob enjoys a burp much more than Anna so we've been trying to burp him with every single feed. But Cate suggested that if the burp doesn't come out in the first few seconds there is no need to try for ages, which makes sense because the gas either rises or it comes out the other end eventually. I think this tip has reduced my feed time dramatically again with Jacob: it now takes around 20 to 25 minutes to give him a feed, which means I can go back to sleep sooner with the night feeds.

I'm also not the only second-time mum in the group, there are three other mums with different aged kids. But I think I have the best age gaps between children as one of the mum has 13 months between her two kids and one has eight years between her two. I'm looking forward to sharing ideas with these mums about looking after more than one child at home.

While we were there Jacob started to become unsettled as he was overtired so I'm quickly put him in the pram, covered him up and started rocking the pram back and forth to settle him. He was asleep within five minutes. One of the first-time mums were so impressed with this she asked me for self-settling tips after the meeting was over. I'm so glad that Jacob is learning to self settle so well: at home, during the day, I would put him down when he gives me tired signals and it usually takes less than 15 minutes for him to fall asleep on his own (with minimal crying). He's doing this so well that I'm concerned that I'm not playing with him enough before putting him to sleep. But the more I read into self settling the more I'm confident that we're doing the right thing by putting him down when he tells us that he is tired.

Things on the Anna front: We just had a full on weekend with her. On Saturday we had some mum and daughter one-on-one time by going to the library with just the two of us. And yesterday she had a friend's birthday party at a soft play centre which she loved. In the afternoon she went to the park with David to ride her bike (with training wheels), she's getting so good at it now but she did have a fall and scraped her elbow which didn't seem to bother her too much. This week we will have Anna's three year check up so afterwards I can give everyone an update on how she is doing.

Until next time,

The 4 of us

P.S. This post was done by dictation on the iPad. It's still learning my preferences but hopefully it will help me get more efficient with blogging.

He's here!

Can't believe it has been more than a year since my last entry! 

As most of you know, we welcomed our son Jacob into the world a few weeks ago. I want to use this chance to give everyone an update on how we're all going.

Let's start with the birth. Apologies to those who've already heard this many times before.

My mum had been staying over for a week to help out and be on standby to take care of Anna when we had to head to hospital. We'd put up balloons and put out all the presents ready to surprise Anna the next morning for her birthday. Then my contraction started at 2.49am, the first thought that popped into my head was 'they'll have the same birthday!' Everyone in my family has a 'twin' within the family, someone with the same birthday or 1 day apart but having 2 children on the same day is just unbelievable. I held on for 2 hours at home then met my midwife, Leilani, at the hospital. Got into the tub as soon as it was filled as I was aiming for a water birth. Everything was going well, my waters broke and the contractions intensified. Then the pushing started, Jacob's head kept slipping back in whenever I made any progress. We later looked this up and they called it 'the turtle head'. Leilani got someone else to help and we could hear them sounding a bit unsure. At one point I was really close so they lifted me up to let gravity do its job, it worked, out came the head. But then the body just wouldn't budge, off went the emergency alarm and 10 people rushed in from out of nowhere and several people had to help me out of the tub and into the bed on all fours (with Jacob's head already out). Luckily they were able to, I'll use my midwife's words, 'corkscrew' him out, all within a couple of minutes. And Jacob was given the all clear straight away. I had major tearing, and many stitches, but they're healing fine now. It wasn't till later that we found out that we only had a 7 minute window between the head and body being born before major complications would develop, so it was a major emergency. If you're interested to read more about it (not recommended if you don't yet have kids and are planning to one day), it's called shoulder dystocia.

Jacob was a much bigger baby than we expected, he weighed a whopping 4.432kg (800g heavier than Anna), 55cm long (exactly the same as Anna) and his head measured 37cm (compared to Anna's 36cm). Or as Leilani lovingly put it, he's a little heffalump.

Jacob - 2 minutes old

Holding him in my arms for the first time, the feeling was exactly the same as with Anna - amazed that we created this little miracle, a perfect little human being. We both thought that he looked a lot like Anna when she was a newborn, except with more hair. We were also pleasantly surprised that he was a boy (we didn't want to know the sex, just like last time) and named him Jacob - a name that we chose quite a few years ago, along with Anna. It's as if it was meant to be, we chose these 2 names and ended up using both. 

Anna holding Jacob for the first time

When the doctor and midwives were done with their paperwork, it was time to bring in Anna and my family. We've been looking forward to the moment that she meets her baby brother/sister for the first time. She looked very excited but also a little unsure at first. After a little while she was happy to hold and kiss him. It was so sweet to see her so smitten with her brother. We brought along a gift from Jacob to her, as recommended by other parents to help with the introduction of a new baby - it was a cabbage patch baby doll. In a way, I felt a little bad for Anna that her birthday excitement was somehow lessen. Luckily we've planned ahead, so she'd still have a birthday party to look forward to in November.

Anna's birthday party - complete with kid who photobombed (girl in blue next to Anna is from another party), and upset Bettina

I rode on the euphoric high of the first few hours, then the real work started after everyone has gone home. Jacob started his feeding frenzy straight away (newborns do this to help kickstart the breastmilk production) but was not satisfied with the colostrum alone. One of the midwives on duty suggested giving him some formula, as he was a large baby he'd also feel more hungry. I wasn't too precious about the breast feeding, as I've done it before I knew I could do it, and that my milk will take a few days to come in. So we gave him a little formula, which definitely helped settle him. I spent another night in hospital, and he was wanting to feed non-stop again. After feeding him for 5 hours straight, the midwife suggested that she'd express my colostrum and she'd feed it to him via a syringe. This finally settled him so we were both able to sleep after such a long night.  

Walking through hospital corridor on our way home

After 2 nights in hospital we were ready to come home again. My family had been staying at our place and had stocked up our fridge with food which was very helpful. After sending them home, we found ourselves with 2 sleeping children so we also slept - for the first time, the 4 of us, sleeping as a complete family.

We went through the first 2 weeks of sleepless nights, David and I taking turns to settle Jake. With several rather cold nights, he would wake up and cry as soon as we tried to put him in his bassinet. He seemed to like sleeping in the car capsule so we let him do that a few times. Leilani came to visit as part of the postnatal care and as usual she was extremely helpful and understanding. She also wanted to make sure both David and I were recovering from the traumatic birth, physically and mentally, which we were. We both agreed that knowing Jake was fine was really helpful in getting us over the fact that we had a near miss with tragedy. 

Even though it's more work having to look after 2 children, we both found it easier this time around. Knowing what to expect and how to handle different situations really helped. We're also less worried about the crying which meant that Jake is also more chilled out - babies are so in tuned with your moods so our relaxed approach is definitely making a huge difference this time. So we're not picking him up each time he cries and so far he's been doing great at self settling to sleep. Often after a few minutes of crying, he's out like a light. He's also a great sleeper during the day, often having 2 hour naps, which means I'm also having more time to rest and get on with household chores. I was just saying to a friend yesterday that our apartment is much tidier than comparing to the baby photos of Anna where the background was always a mess!

Jake has just reached his 1-month milestone last week and he's thriving. The breast feeding is now very established, he has around 7-8 feeds a day of which 2 are night feeds. He loves his baths, just like Anna, and Dave is enjoying being the chief bather. He's been having a fair share of poo explosions and vomits, but instead of panicking like I did last time, I just have a laugh and put on another load of washing. He's also giving us his first smiles which is just the sweetest thing (and as all parents know, also the hardest things to capture in photos!). With the relatively 'easier' baby, David was able to return to work after 2 weeks at home. Even though it was great having him there with me all the time, I didn't freak out when it was time to be on my own as I did with Anna. 

Anna's shielding Jake's eyes from scary bit of movie

Anna is a proud and affectionate big sister. The first thing she asks after coming home from school everyday without fail is 'where's baby? Can I give him a kiss?' She also shields his eyes when there's a scary bit in a movie, saying 'baby is scared'. But we also have had a few tantrums, which is unavoidable as she is no longer the only child and the pressure of being the big girl has been catching up to her. We're trying to make sure that she still gets one-on-one time with both of us and that her life is still as similar to before as possible. Soon we'll reduce her days at childcare to 2 days a week, which will be a real test for me having to take care of both of them on my own. I've been putting down ideas for outings and easy to make snacks and lunches so that I'll be prepared. I think the biggest challenge will be to keep Anna entertained while I'm busy with Jacob, as most tasks with him is still quite time consuming. I've bought a few craft books so that I can have some activities ready for her. The last thing I want is for her to be watching tv all day. We're also considering signing her up to dance classes so she has another physical outlet (as well as continuing with her swimming lessons).

Next week I'll be having a postnatal check up and gynaecologist appointment, so I hope to have an update for you on how I'm recovering. Thanks again for all your messages, especially those asking about how I'm doing. It has been a more physically demanding pregnancy and birth for me this time, but my spirits are high and all this support from friends and family is really helping me with my recovery. With time I'll be back to my old self again. 

I hope to keep this blog up to date as often as possible, but I know my output will be less frequent than last time. Thanks again for all your well wishes, cards and presents. I can't say this often enough: our family is truly blessed to have you all in our lives.

Until next time, take a look at these photos of Anna and Jacob around the same age and you'll see how similar they are:

Anna

Jacob

Anna

Jacob

Love,

The 4 of us

Be kind….rewind

Last week, we marked another milestone for our family with Anna’s second birthday. Leading up to this special day there was the usual retail therapy for mum and dad to buy gifts for Anna (or things that we really want for ourselves but feel less guilty buying when it’s ‘for’ Anna); organising her birthday party; and, also other activities around birthday week (not sure if you knew this already but we celebrate birthdays for a whole week in my family).

I also thought it was time to update Anna’s 2 baby books: one chronicles her first year and the second is our ‘time capsule’ for Anna – a collection of notes, advice and words from my friends which we’ll give to Anna when she’s older.

One of these notes was from my colleague Zac and it talks about the importance of being kind – whether it is being kind to other people, to the environment, to animals, etc. And I couldn’t agree more.

Reading comments on news articles and forums is one of my guilty pleasures. And it never seizes to amaze me how unkind people are to one and another. Hiding behind the anonymity of avatars, people dare say things that they would never utter in person.

More evident of this behaviour than anywhere else online is on parenting forums. It saddens me to see parents argue and point their digital fingers at each other over every minuscule choice: breast feeding, weaning, gaps between each child, diet, toys, sleeping habits, dummy…

As parents, we should be supportive and respectful of each other and our choices. Because it is not ok to go up to a person on the street and make a nasty comment about their choice of clothing, sexual orientation, career – then why is it ok to do so to fellow parents who are also facing the same challenges of raising little human beings?

One thing that I hope we’ll be able to teach Anna is that being kind shouldn’t be a type of self censorship or an after-thought, it should be the norm, the first course of action, standard operating procedure, whatever you want to call it.

So happy birthday to our little girl, we love you more than words can explain and we hope you like your Blue Planet DVD box set!

To the other side of the world and back again

Sorry that we’ve been a little quiet lately, what a busy few months we’ve had!

Shortly after deciding to travel to Europe we were told that we had to move out of the apartment we’d been living in for the past 4 years. Owners are moving back in, what can we do. So we had just over a month to look for a new place, move and then go on holidays.

We were very lucky to find a great place that’s closer to work and child care. It’s a bigger place so Anna has more room to run around. There’s also a great park nearby so it’s a blessing in disguise that we were made to move.

Shortly after the move, we began our adventure to Holland and France. The much dreaded flight was easier than we first thought. Anna was just under the weight limit for the bassinet and we were glad to offload our lovely 14kg once in a while to reboot the circulation in our legs. A highlight of the journey was definitely when Anna screamed out ‘F$#K’ at Singapore airport when she saw a giant frog – you see, she hasn’t quite master making the ‘fr’ sound, much to the embarrassment of her parents.

We spent the first week of our trip in Holland. It was great for Anna to meet all her Dutch relatives and to spend some quality time with the family. A highlight would have to be meeting her little cousin Pepijn and spending time playing together. It was great to have that time together. In Chinese culture, paternal cousins are as seen as siblings rather than cousins, so it was wonderful for Anna to meet her ‘brother’.

Then off to France we went. It was always going to be an ambitious trip, driving and training across France. As Anna’s at the age of discovering her independence, it was particularly challenging at meal times and nap times for her to sit still or remain seated in the pram. It was frustrating at the time, but we can look back now and be amazed at how quickly our little girl grew up in those 2 weeks across France and what a fantastic adventure it was for all 3 of us. It was also great to meet up with my best friend Laura, even though it was so brief. She has been away for almost a year and it was great for Anna to reunite with ‘Lau-la’ who taught her to stand up all those months ago.

With another 10 days in Holland, we were ready to go home again. Anna was definitely more active on the flight home and she thoroughly enjoyed taking Daddy on walks into Business Class. 

Back in Sydney, we settled back into a routine very quickly. Teachers at childcare all remarked on how much Anna was now talking and also how tanned she was. We were asked to prepare some photos from the trip and stories so the children in her class had a Dutch-themed week during which they learned all about Anna’s time in Holland, coloured in paper clogs and looked at the photos on display. Those teachers know how to make parents go ‘awwwwwwwwww’!

3 months down the line, life is back to normal. Anna is no longer using the pram and at almost 22-months of age, she started toilet training. She’s doing great so far, using the toilet at each nappy change. We’ll soon change to pull-up nappies to make it even easier for her. Will keep you all posted on her progress. She has also learned to use the dvd player (thanks Daddy for showing her what to do!) and is going through an obsessive phase with watching The Wiggles. She’s started singing a lot more and now knows all the lyrics from ‘Twinkle twinkle’, ‘ABC’, ‘Bah bah black sheep’ and a few other nursery rhymes. She’s showing a real interest in helping with household tasks, and at the moment she’s in charge of putting all dirty laundry in the laundry basket and putting recyclable rubbish in the special bin. 

So once we train her to vacuum and get drinks from the fridge we’ll be all set!

I leave you now with one of my favourite shots from the trip - Anna cracking up herself in the mirror. Enjoy!

To wean or not to wean

As with most baby habits, there comes a point when you have to wean them. The breastfeeding, the formula, the bottle, all done and dusted. Now we have the dummy.

Anna wasn’t always such a fan. In the very beginning she had trouble keeping it in her mouth, until we switched to the current cherry-shaped dummy. Ever since she’s been using it for sleep. Now that we travel for more than an hour in the car each day (Sydney traffic is getting worse) she started requesting it each time she’s strapped in. I suppose it is partly our fault. We used to feed her a snack in the car on the way home but to make sure that she still eats her dinner once we’re home we’d sometimes offer the dummy when she starts complaining. Now we’re stuck with a screaming Anna until dummy is fetched.

Recently, I met up with a few mums at a café, Anna was using her dummy to try to fall asleep when one of the mums said “Oh Anna, you look too big to be using a dummy”. Immediately, I felt guilty. I comfort myself by thinking: well, she doesn’t use it all day like some babies. But should I be concerned that her use has increased? Will it be one of those things that she’ll all of a sudden stop doing one day because she simply ‘grows’ out of it?

In the meantime, I’ll just be happy that she has a cure for her sore ears for our upcoming flights and I'll enjoy it every time she says ‘Ta’ and hands back her dummy at the end of the car trip :)

To other parents out there reading this, any advice on what we should do?

New year, new blog post!

Firstly, apologies for such a long absence. I have gone back to work full time since the last entry so free time is quite precious right now.

Work is going well, I feel like I have switched that part of my brain on again and everything is still functioning. Juggling work and home life is ok so far, you just do what you have to do. The biggest challenge is wrapping my head around the fact that the teachers at day care are spending more of Anna’s waking hours with her than us.

Anna is thriving, growing bigger and smarter every day. She just started ‘counting’….if you consider being able to say ‘two’ after we say ‘one’ counting. She seems to be having a great time at childcare, even though she has been a repeated victim of the classroom biter. She likes to show us different things around the classroom when we pick her up, all the while babbling away about this and that. Someone should invent a baby-translator because we’d love to know what she’s saying!

Anna has achieved many milestones since the last post, most notably:

-   Turning one – after having a pirates and princesses themed group party with the entire mothers’ group, we also held a smaller party for family and close friends at home for Anna. On her birthday (which turned out to be a public holiday) we took Anna for her first visit to the Aquarium, it was a fun day for all of us.

-   Walking/running – Anna mastered walking at 13 months of age, after about 6 weeks of cruising. She now prefers to run and can walk up the stairs by herself if there is a railing.

-   Her first 2 syllable word – BUBBLE. Yes, it’s incredibly cute and such a useful word too!

-   First trip to the ER with a 'pulled elbow'. Long story short she's fine but now that it's loose, it could happen again. For those of you with young children, please take a look at this link for more info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nursemaid%27s_elbow

Anna is overall a happy toddler who loves to dance. She has many moves including the ‘wiggle’, the ‘finger-pointing- boogie’, the ‘Irish dance’ and the ‘sway’ (reserved for slow tempo songs). She also loves watching many kids shows, especially ones with music and dancing, such as The Wiggles and Hi-5.

Sleeping is still the biggest struggle even though it’s improving. It usually takes ½ hour of us sitting next to her cot to put her to sleep at night. Most of the time is encouraging her to lay back down each time she stands/sits up in bed. She usually sleeps around 5-6 hours before waking up and joining us in bed.

Besides mummy and daddy, Anna’s favourite person at the moment is my dad. Just saying ‘Gong-Gong’ (Chinese for maternal grand-dad) puts a smile on her face. When my parents are visiting, Anna likes to sit in Gong Gong’s lap while he surfs the internet, and she especially enjoys tickling him when he’s trying to nap on the couch.

It’s such happy times for us at the moment. The weather is warm, the sun is shining and even with all the crazy things happening in the world, the three of us are enjoying being a family together. What more could we ask for :)

P.S. For those of you who haven’t done so already, please donate to the Queensland Floods Appeal: http://www.qld.gov.au/floods/donate.html . The affected area is the size of France and Spain combined and it is the worst flooding we’ve seen in Australia for a century. Please help if you can.

Love,

Viv